Words can’t describe The Maldives. You have to watch this video I made to understand.
It must be the most beautiful place in the world because even in my wildest dreams, I can’t imagine somewhere more picturesque than this small island nation. The Maldives is a string of islands in the middle of nowhere in the Indian ocean. Google Map it.
I arrived from Colombo at Male airport, which is a man-made sand island. From there I boarded a 15 or so passenger sea plane to my hotel. Go on one of these if you ever have the chance. When I made my reservation, I told them that I was a travel writer, which I technically am, here’s the proof. So when I arrived, it was nice to see that they had upgraded me to a beachfront bungalow at no extra charge. The hotel is just an island. The staff lives there in a small staff village that the guests don’t go into. No cars, no motorcycles, you walk everywhere.
Everything was INCREDIBLY expensive…but I had a plan: Eat as much food as I can possibly fit in my face hole at the included breakfast buffet (which went until 10:00). Lay in the sun, fall asleep in a coconut pancake induced food coma and get sunburned. Wake up and rent snorkel equipment for $14/day and snorkel on the reef outside my room and sunburn the whole back of my body since I only managed to get the front while I was drooling on myself/sleeping after breakfast. Walk around the entire island, alone, (only took 45 minutes) while all the honeymooners stare judgementally at me. Do that again. Take a shower, eat a Clif bar and watch BBC news have a jolly good meldown about the birth of the royal baby. Watch the staff feed fish guts to a bunch of sting rays and smile awkwardly at me while they try to deduce where my husband was and who left whom at the alter. Go to the bar and buy one drink for $17 (at happy hour price, obvi) so I could eat 3 bowls of free banana chips. Sleep for 10 hours straight. Repeat X3. This place was so beautiful, it never got old. Although, one day I did go on a boat trip to another island for my daily snorkelling/sunburning activity. The guide talked to me, as I was the only person without a spouse, and was surprised when I asked about Maldivian culture because apparently no one had ever given a shit about it on any of his other trips in the last 7 years. I guess when you go on your honeymoon, your brain temporarily melts out of your head and gets replaced with those little paper umbrellas. So that was a little disappointing to hear, but whatever, at least I was the one whitey this guy had ever met that actually cared about his culture. Either that or I was the only solo female traveller on a small paradise island and he wanted to try his luck…
Anyway, this post is kind of short because that is literally all I did and it was awesome. Photos can describe it much better and also provide you with a new desktop backgroud at your depressing office, sorry had to say it, and if you’re offended it’s cause you know I am right. Smiley face. So check out the video I made of my photos (anyone who can guess where the theme song is from had an equally nerdy childhood). Here are a few of my favorites: